Services for men and boys
We know that men and boys who have experienced sexual assault, domestic violence or abuse can find it difficult to talk about what has happened.
You may worry that you won’t be believed, or that people will judge you for not being strong and able to protect yourself.
At SAASSBMK, we believe you, and we can help you access emotional and practical support as to process your experience in a way that helps you move forward.
Sexual assault of men and boys is less common than violence against women and girls, but it does happen. Evidence suggests that eight per cent of the male population are sexually abused, and some put it at 20 per cent and higher. (Mankind UK, 2002). Most of the time the perpetrator is another man, but it can be a woman.
Men and boys may worry that no one will believe them if they speak out about what has happened. They may feel shame about being assaulted because they think they should have been able to defend themselves and fight off an attacker. Some heterosexual men may worry that the assault means that they are gay. Others may believe that the assault happened because of their sexuality, and worry about it happening again.
These worries and feelings of shame often stop men and boys from asking for help.
In the video below, Stu talks about how difficult he found it to talk openly about his experience of sexual abuse.
Feelings and reactions
Sexual violence can affect people in many different ways. You may find that you :Â
- Want to hurt yourself or damage things.
- Cry a lot or struggle to cope.
- Have trouble trusting other people.
- Feel ‘unmanly’ or weak.
- Feel ‘unmanly’ or weak.
- Have nightmares and flashbacks.
- Feel angry and on edge all the time.
- Need to use substances or behaviours to numb yourself.
If you’re feeling like this, it can have a profound effect on your self-esteem, your relationships and your sense of who you are. There is often an expectations that men and boys shouldn’t show vulnerability or display emotions, so you may feel you have no one to confide in.
Sexual violence happens because of who the abuser is, not who you are. You are not to blame. If you’re struggling with the effects of sexual assault or abuse, you are not alone. You can refer yourself to receive emotional and practical support.
Support available
We provide specialist support for men and boys over 16 who have experienced sexual or domestic abuse. This includes:
- Up to 24 sessions of 1:1 counselling
- A specialist male Independent Domestic and Sexual Violence Advocate in Buckinghamshire
- Group therapy across the Thames Valley region (including Buckinghamshire, Oxfordshire and Berkshire).
We have specialist workers of all genders including male counsellors, group therapists and IDSVAs and you can request support from a person of any gender that feels most comfortable to you.
For more information about this or other services,
please get in touch.
Email:
General enquiries: admin@saassbmk.org.uk
For support: support@saassbmk.org.uk
Buckinghamshire AND Milton Keynes: 01908 201971